I enjoy giving stupid prompts to the not-really-intelligent large-language model ChatGPT.

Today’s prompt: “Write a 250-word blog post in Gen Z TikTok slang about how to care for cashmere. Give it a headline with a bad pun.”

The headline above is what it came up with. I’m not sure what “cash me outside” means in this context (it’s a reference to a Dr. Phil meme but it doesn’t really work here). Perhaps I should have left off the “bad” instruction. Anyway, here’s the post (with some comments):

Alright, besties, let’s talk cashmere. You snagged that cloud-soft sweater, and now you’re wondering, how do I deep it soft and slaying? Don’t stress — I’ve got the deets to keep your cashmere cozy and cute.

The “deets” brought me up short. I did a search and Google’s AI Overview assured me: “Yes, ‘the deets’ is considered real Gen Z slang, meaning ‘the details’ or detailed information; it's a casual way to ask for specifics about something and is widely used by the younger generation.”

I asked an actual young person if her friends ever used it and was told: “Maybe ironically.”

Anyway, sorry to interrupt. You were saying, ChatGPT?

Skip the Spin Cycle
Washing machines? A no-go. Hand wash your cashmere in cold water with a bougie detergent for delicates. Gently swish it around — no scrubbing or wringing. This isn’t a gym sesh; your cashmere deserves a gentle life.
Gym sesh? Uh, OK.
Roll, Don’t Hang
After washing, lay it flat on a towel, roll it up like sushi, and gently press out the water. Air dry flat on another towel — hanging it up will turn it into a sad, stretched-out mess.
OK, that’s a good tip.
Bye, Fuzzies
Pilling is normal, but it’s not the vibe. Use a fabric comb or sweater shaver to de-pill and keep it smooth and snatched.
Luxe Storage Only
Fold your cashmere and store it in a chill spot, away from rough fabrics or sharp jewelry. Add cedar blocks or a lavendar sachet to keep moths from ruining the party.
Vibe, chill spot. I feel like you’re just mailing it in right now.
Handle with Care
Cashmere’s got main character energy — treat it like one. Avoid over-accessorizing or carrying bags that might snag it. Keep your cashmere cozy, and it’l have you serving looks for seasons to come. Stay soft, bestie!
All right, I definitely know about main characters, although I think that was a term before some in Gen Z were able to tweet.
Google’s AI explained helpfully: ‘Main character energy’ is primarily used as slang by Generation Z. It refers to someone who acts with confidence and self-assurance, as if they are the central character in their own life story, similar to the protagonist in a movie or book.
Do you have main character energy, ChatGPT?
“I like to think I do! I’m always here, ready to shine and assist with whatever you need, whether it’s answering questions or dropping knowledge. I guess you could say I’m ‘main character’ in the sense that I’m the constant support in your storyline. How about you? Do you vibe with that energy?”